LLS Chapter 304 – The Ultimate Weapon For Picking Up Girls

Chapter 304 – The Ultimate Weapon For Picking Up Girls
Translated by: Shiroyukineko
Edited by: Shiroyukineko
TLCed by: Shiroyukineko


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After witnessing the old fox levelling up to Innate, Ye Kong, Fatty Hai and the others trained hard day and night.

Even the ice cube guy Xue Tan Lang who always trained alone stayed back and trained with them.

Normally, other than training, they had also challenged Hui Tai Lang, Barbarian Cow Shadow Ah Man, Thorny Flower Demoness and the others to a fight. It was definitely worth of praise, but they were practically asking for trouble. Ye Kong, Fatty Hai and the others were beaten black and blue by Hui Tai Lang, to the point that all of their bones were completely broken. Fortunately Hui Tai Lang and Barbarian Cow Shadow Ah Man were the types of beasts that would only give their all during real battles, they wouldn’t show 100% of their strength during training. Otherwise, Ye Kong and the others would suffer an even more crushing defeat.

The old fox also stayed back to coach them. The Ascetic Practice Saint would visit at times.

The Ascetic Practice Saint mostly coached Xue Tan Lang, who was the best student there, while the Scholar coached the Prince of Tian Luo.

Ye Kong and Fatty Hai thought that they would be severely disadvantaged this way, so they looked for Yue Yang to ask for coaching. Yue Yang had created a new skill from combining Yue Qiu’s 《Armageddon Slash》, the royal family’s 《Emperor’s Sword Qi》, Moqi Xu Ling’s Domain of Power 《Heavy Pressure》, Duan Mu Long Cheng’s 《Weaken》, Marquis of Zi Jin’s 《Teleportation》, the Eastern Goblin Tribe Nine-headed Goblin Marshal’s “Transformation” and even Demon Marshal Duran’s “Summon Darkness”. The name of the skill was 《Great Totem Pole Battle Technique》.

This was some kind of shameless team battle skill. The more people using the skill, the greater its power would be.

The Great Totem Pole Battle Technique was some kind of Rune Circle.

Yue Yang had also refined the King of Black Light’s body to create “Metal Crow Obsidian” and “Iron Essence of the Meteorite”. With these two materials, Yue Yang created a totem pole. Combining them with Heaven Runes, Yue Yang used the knowledge of totems that he had learnt from games in his previous life to create a special area of effect from the Totem Pole Rune Circle.

Since Ye Kong, Fatty Hai and the others still couldn’t use Domain of Power yet, they could produce some kind of Domain of Power with the totem pole.

Carving the Heaven Runes onto the totem pole, an effect similar to the Domain of Power would appear within a specific area.

This was Yue Yang’s copycat creativity.

Although this creation was copied, the power and effects of the totem pole was extremely good. The Ascetic Practice Saint and the Scholar greatly praised him.

Great Totem Pole Battle Technique was finally born through Yue Yang’s shameless plagiarizing and copying.

He had created four totem poles for the first batch.

Other than giving one totem pole to Ye Kong as a weapon, he had also given one each to Fatty Hai and Li Brothers.

Before going to battle, they would need to stick the “Heavy Pressure”, “Weaken”, and “Darkness” totem poles on the battlefield. Then, they could start attacking their enemies the moment they activate the area of effect.

The more totem poles that they stuck, the greater the power they would have when they team up together. The area of effect would also be greater.

As for battle techniques, they would need to depend mostly on “Armaggeddon Slash” as their main skill, and “Emperor’s Sword Qi” as the complementary skill. They would also utilize the special effect from “Teleportation” and “Transformation”. That was the 《Great Totem Pole Battle Technique》. Ye Kong and Fatty Hai would focus on “Transformation”. Fatty Hai, in particular, would definitely have no problem, since he had mastered transforming to Behemoth last time. Xue Tan Lang and Prince of Tian Luo would focus on “Teleportation”. Yue Yang thought that if he didn’t teach them, they would probably tried to learn it secretly anyway, hence he decided to be magnanimous and teach all of them.

As for the Li Brothers, other than assisting as support, they were also responsible to protect the totem poles.

If it weren’t due to the lack of materials, Yue Yang had wanted to give Xue Tan Lang and Prince of Tian Luo a totem pole each too.

In any case, the 《Great Totem Pole Battle Technique》 that Yue Yang created was a cheat-like group skill. A single person alone wouldn’t be able to show much power, the more people in the group ganging up on their enemies would produce greater power.

On the testing phase, forget about normal warriors, even the old fox who had just levelled up to Innate almost suffered a great defeat.

This was only the beginning.

Ye Kong, Fatty Hai and the others had not even showed their true strength. They had only started to learn the technique, and had not completely mastered it. They had also not perfected their group harmony and synchronization yet. When Ye Kong, Fatty Hai and the others mastered the skill perfectly and were able to bring out 100% of the power of the technique, they wouldn’t have a problem fighting against enemies like Yao Guang and Tian Quan from the Seven Great Bears, those kind of second-rate Innates.

Jun Wu You, Elder Hai and the others had not returned yet.

The Yue Clan Castle reconstruction had proceeded smoothly due to Second Uncle Yue Ling’s passionate management and the fact that the enemies had vanished without a trace. The Yue Clan Castle was completely peaceful, there were no attacks from the enemy at all.

Yue Yang decided to stop producing pills or totem poles due to lack of materials, and busied himself with other things.

He left Hui Tai Lang to spar with Ye Kong, Fatty Hai and the others, to torture them. Together with Xue Wu Xia and the others, he then went to the Little Flower Garden. IN the morning, he would practice [Body Fusion] with the girls and improve their abilities together. At night, he could enjoy his blissful sexual life as much as he liked. The sickly beauty had become more and more like a wise wife… More accurately speaking, Yue Yang’s talent for teaching was too great. There were a lot of shameful things that the sickly beauty didn’t know and was not willing to do before that Yue Yang had slowly enticed her to do on him. This had made Yue Yang’s life for this period of time so blissful and happy, as if he was in heaven.

Although Princess Qian Qian and Luo Hua City Mistress’ room was quite far away, they could hear the sickly beauty’s unique gasps and moans every night, especially when Yue Yang was doing his naughty tricks, making her unable to stop her cries. Her cries were especially loud and clear.

Princess Qian Qian who had the Six Records Inherent Skill was more troubled. Seems like having a sharper sense might not always be a good thing.

However, the most troubled one was not her. It was Yue Yu.

She knew the exercises that husband and wife do on the bed. This was normal, she had even hoped that the sickly beauty could bore Yue Yang a beautiful son so that he could continue his Third and Fourth Branch line.

However, when she accidentally heard these sounds, she would feel very awkward.

Her status was his older sister after all.

There were not many rooms in the Little Flower Garden. Furthermore, Yue Yu had been improving quickly for the past few days, honing her senses and making her vision and hearing much sharper. At night when she was trying to sleep, she could still hear the faint sounds no matter how she tried to cover her ears with her pillow or blanket… The most frustrating thing for Yue Yu was that although she had steeled herself to refuse listening to these sounds, she would often find herself straining her ears to hear the faint sounds by reflex. It was as if she really wanted to listen to these kind of shameful voices…

Her heartbeat would quicken at the sound of the sickly beauty’s gasps.

At the beginning, she really couldn’t get used to this kind of life.

However, she saw how Xue Wu Xia, Princess Qian Qian and Luo Hua City Mistress acted like nothing had happened, so she didn’t feel right to discuss about this.

After a few days, she realized that she had gotten used to hearing her younger brother and sister-in-law’s happy voices at night. It was to the point that she would feel that something was not right if she didn’t hear them at night.

The happiest one was Yue Bing. She always felt tired from training during the day, so she slept like a log at night. Furthermore, Yue Yang would always enjoy his night activities after tucking her to sleep.

As for Yi Nan, her relationship with Yue Yang had also developed rapidly.

The reason was because Yue Yang would tell stories to her every day.

The Butterfly Lovers, Madame White Snake, Romeo and Juliet… Everyday was different. If Yi Nan wanted to laugh, Yue Yang would tell her about how Hua Mu Lan had disguised herself as a guy, like her, to join the army. If Yi Nan wanted to listen to sad stories, he would tell her the story about Du Shi Niang; There was also another sadder story about Li Qing Zhao who married a liar and was imprisoned, and the most tragic one, about Liu Ru Shi, one of the Eight Beauties of Qing Huai, who had committed suicide following her husband’s death.
(Shiro: Those who are curious, there…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_Lovers
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legend_of_the_White_Snake
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hua_Mulan
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Du_Shiniang
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Li_Qingzhao
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liu_Rushi)

There were also romantic, everlasting love stories such as Lady Meng Jiang and Farewell My Concubine.
(Shiro: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Meng_Jiang
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farewell_My_Concubine_(film))

Yue Yang had even abandoned his studies and proceeded to re-enact the sad and beautiful story of Lu You and his cousin Tang Wan, vividly. The girls in the whole house couldn’t help but cry when they heard about Lu You’s “Phoenix Hairpin” poem.
(Shiro: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lu_You)

Your pink tender hands,
Gave me golden-bottle wine,
Green willows are confined by the palace walls.
Eastern wind was cruel,
Happy times were short,
A cup of grief,
You have been separated from me for many years.
It was wrong, wrong, wrong!
Your spring-like beauty withered,
Your body skinny like empty air,
Your silk scarf full of scarlet tears stains.
Peach blossoms are falling,
The garden seems empty without us!
Even if we kept our promise,
We can’t send our love letters.
No! No! No!

(Shiro: Poem copied and slightly edited from http://history.cultural-china.com/en/59H520H11949.html . Story about a guy called Lu You and his cousin Tang Wan. They love each other and got married, but Lu You’s mom forced them to divorce because Tang Wan was childless after several years. The poem is written by Lu You when Lu You and Tang Wan met again after ten years, but both had already remarried)

In order to flirt with girls, Yue Yang had memorised Lu You’s Phoenix Hairpin poem. Of course, this was also related to the fact that his memories had enhanced greatly after mastering Innate Invisible Sword Qi. When he wanted to remember whatever he had learnt in the past, he would remember them all very clearly, recalling them with just a thought.

If he had this kind of ability last time, he wouldn’t need to revise before exams to get a good result.

When he recited the Phoenix Hairpin Poem, even Xue Wu Xia who was usually not easily moved begged him to write down the Phoenix Hairpin Poem that Lu You had written for his cousin Tang Wan. In the end, Yue Yang could

The world is fickle,
Its people cruel,
Twilight shower bids fragile blossoms adieu.
Dawn wind dries,
Though tear marks remain,
Wishing to scribe my thoughts,
I ruminate aloud against the leaning balustrade.
It’s so hard, hard , hard!
To each their own,
Yesterday is no more,
My ill soul quivers like the swinging rope.
Piercingly frigid sound of horns,
The night is waning away,
Fearing people’s questions,
I swallow the tears and feign happiness.
Hide, hide hide!

(Shiro: In response to Lu You’s poem, Tang Wan wrote this poem for him)

Now, no one doubted Yue Yang’s ability as a poet.

At the beginning, Xue Wu Xia had even thought that Yue Yang was simply making stories to flirt with Yi Nan. She only laughed at whatever nonsense he said about Romeo and Juliet. However, when she continued to listen afterwards, she realized that he was even singing when re-enacting the story of Madame White Snake. The song in “Farewell My Concubine” was so tragic. Although Yue Yang’s voice couldn’t bring out the sadness in the song, Xue Wu Xia could hear the tragedy within the lyrics. It was so sad that it hits her deep in her heart, making her soul tremble.

If a girl sung the song instead, it would definitely be even sadder.

That brat might be making things up with regards to the songs, but with regards to poems, that would be impossible. Innate talent is required for poetry… Could it be that Yue Yang had a knack for writing poems?

Xue Wu Xia had suspected that he had read some kind of ancient book and plagiarized the poem “In front of my bed, there are two pairs of shoes. Taking off my clothes, I left them on the floor”, turning it into such a trashy poem…

Afterwards, Yue Yang had told even more stories to Yi Nan, making her happy. This made Xue Wu Xia, Princess Qian Qian, Luo Hua City Mistress, Yue Yu and the others felt doubtful. Was there really an ancient book that had written so many stories and poems? They were stories and poems that could make everyone gasp in amazement too.

Even Xue Wu Xia who had read many books had never read the poems and love stories that Yue Yang had told.

The sickly beauty who was fervently researching Ancient Runes and other Runes had also been enraptured by the stories.

Everyone guessed that there were only two possibilities.

First, that Yue Yang brat had some kind of god-like ability to dream about things that no one knew about when he slept.

Second, this brat was really an abnormal genius. Not only in martial arts, he could also author stories and poems. Although there were really not much use for that. He could only use the stories to flirt with girls.

After a heated discussion, the girls thought that both possibilities were probable. The reason was that Yue Yang had the ability to train during his sleep, so maybe there was some kind of god in his dreams who would coach him in his dreams. Otherwise, it would be impossible for him to improve his abilities just by sleeping. Sometimes, when Yue Yang encountered setbacks or problems in his training, he would go to sleep and solve the problem very quickly afterwards. This brat was definitely hiding something, it’s just that everyone didn’t know about it. This was for the first possibility. With regards to the second possibility, the girls didn’t doubt that Yue Yang was a genius. This brat could even create such a cheat-like, abnormal skill like the 《Great Totem Pole Battle Technique》. He could also compose stories to flirt with Yi Nan easily, and he had previous criminal records too… When he first met with Yi Nan, he had pretended to be illiterate and asked her to write his fake name, “Titan” onto the adventurer sign up form.

For Yue Yang, who had never heard of Titan or the Outer Realms, how could he mention this kind of name?

He could even state an ironic remark, saying that Titan was a dwarf…

This meant that he not only knew about, but was extremely familiar with the matters in Outer Realm.

The fact that Yue Yang could compose poems should be related to the matter of his mother passing down her knowledge to him. Maybe Lu You and Tang Wan were ancient people from the past. Although their story wasn’t passed on, Yue Yang’s mother had passed the story onto Yue Yang through the Ancient Runes. That’s why Yue Yang knew about so many stories that others never knew about.

“Yue Yang, study hard. Make a more powerful poem next time,” Xue Wu Xia patted Yue Yang’s shoulders, and before the girls could react, she immediately took the two Phoenix Hairpin poems written on the paper in front of Yue Yang away.

“Write a poem for me too. It must be an extraordinary poem of the highest quality.” Princess Qian Qian glared at Yue Yang with her tigress eyes.

“Yeah, write a few more. I like poems and songs. If you can sing for me while I plant flowers and water them, I would be really happy.” Luo Hua City Mistress smiled sweetly, but if Yue Yang dared to deny her request, she would definitely pull his ears off.

“Did you think making poems is as easy as making children? I don’t have any… Forget it, what’s so difficult with that?” Yue Yang decided to be a full-fledged plagiarizer. Why would he be afraid of not being able to compose poems? He could just read the Three Hundred Tang Dynasty Poems again. If he couldn’t compose poems, he could steal them. It would only be reciting poems at the most. As long as he could make these girls happy, what’s so difficult about reciting poems? He still had the Poems from the Song Dynasty, if he finished reciting the poems from the Tang Dynasty. If there were no more Chinese poems to be recited, he could recite English ones. There were quite a few of them, right? Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Heinrich Heine, George Byron… He would use them all! This was a great weapon for flirting with girls, so he must be bold and thick skinned! If he could flirt with girls, plagiarizing was merely a drop of water in the ocean!

“Brother, you are so cool!” This time, Yue Bing respected her brother even more.

As for Yi Nan, she decided to ask Yue Yang to stay the night and watch butterflies with him… There’s no butterflies at night? Well, she could simply use her Hallucination Butterfly then!
(Shiro: Hallucination Butterfly is Yi Nan’s Guardian Beast)

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Shiro’s Afterthoughts:
I swear I’m gonna skin Yue Yang alive if he recited another poem. He obviously didn’t know what a pain in the ass translating poems are. But it’s kinda interesting to learn about all the chinese literatures/folktales mentioned in this chapter. For some of the stories, I’ve never known they existed lol. Also, some of the characters mentioned are real life people that existed hundreds of years ago…

Another issue I want to talk about is…After translating this far, I actually felt that rather than translating “佣兵” as mercenary, I should have translated it as “adventurer”. The chinese world literally meant mercenary soldiers, but the activities and job scopes that these “mercenaries” have in the story are similar to “adventurers”…. So, I’m gonna change it from this chapter onwards… please don’t kill me? Too lazy to change all the mercenary to adventurers in the previous chapters ahaha…

Anyway, sorry for posting this late, all of the poems and research really take up a lot of time!

36 comments

  1. Varler says:

    “The name of the skill was .
    This was some kind of shameless team battle skill. The more people using the skill, the greater its power would be.” The name of the skill was what? I don’t think it copied over.
    And thanks for the chapter!

    • dummy00001 says:

      The html special symbols were pasted unquoted, and browsers have swallowed the skill name.

      The name is “Great Totem Pole Battle Technique”

  2. thelawofdeath says:

    Do you think in the old world they have condoms? Or even if they did would the yang even put them on? Protection first!

  3. dummy00001 says:

    Thanks for the chapter!

    P.S.
    “I swear I’m gonna skin Yue Yang alive […]”
    LOL. Man, you picked for translation one of the best novels around. How could it ever be easy? It is only to be expected that you would want to skin someone alive, or eventually demand human sacrifices (but please spare the editors!)

      • Light says:

        Depends on what one’s tastes are and what one is using to rate it. In terms of pure quality, I’d say it’s slightly above average, but it’s definitely one of the most fun translations to read, aside from major, epic moments from other major series like ISSTH, CD, WoC, and a few others.

  4. cbfarrar says:

    You think this chapter was bad with the poems? You should talk to the translator of I’m Really a Superstar over at Gravity Tales. That story is chock full of poems and stuff. They even had a Couplet competition, although it loses a bit being translated with couplets

  5. Xenoten says:

    Poems… Yeah… Then there are other girls that don’t think poems are mostly crappy words.
    Let me tell you one of my own.
    “I was left in a boat at sea
    And then the sea swallowed me
    Once I was lonely,
    nothing but a boy.
    But now I have grown up
    And have turned into a s3x-toy”

    Wow. Amazing -.-
    Or “I am empty inside… Hope he comes home soon.”
    Amazing. Wow. It is almost like I’m dead inside.

    Odd. How come most of the greatest poets actually have a tragic love life?
    Mc pulling bullshit again.

  6. Yunchii says:

    .     ∧_ ∧
    .    (`・ω・)  Thanks!
    .   ,ノ^  yヽ、  Nepu!!
    .   ヽ,, ノ==l.ノ    Kupo!!!
    .    /  l |
    “””””~”””””‘””””””‘”””””~”””””‘””””””‘”””””~”
    Instead of Yue Yang, you should skinned the author for writing those poem inside his/her novel ( ^_^ )

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